A Tale of Great Courage

 

Ten years ago, I was fortunate to survive an encounter with the nemesis of the human race and continue my life story with great hope for the future. That future includes the love of my life and my reason for living, my sweet Cheryl. She elevates my life as none other ever has; she supports, encourages, teaches and leads me to stay on the right path in every aspect of my life. When things are strained, she becomes the glue to hold things together. When others are in need, she is first to offer tangible and earnest relief. When I am despondent, she cheers me up; when I am hopeless, she gives me hope. Her faith in almighty God is strong and she demonstrates it everyday and leads others by example. She is my right arm, my tower of strength, in the corny line from the movies, “she completes me.”

In May of 2017, she discovered a mass in her left breast that prompted her physician to have a mammogram performed. We waited in the same patient dressing room where I had sat seven years earlier and pondered the outcome of her test. Based on my experience and our faith in God, we had great Hope. We even hoped that it would not be malignant and would not have metastasized to any other parts of her body. But, it was not to be.

The mammogram specialist and the doctor on staff said that it appeared to be malignant and they took samples for testing. The following day they confirmed it as malignant and referred her to a surgeon for review. Dr Cornet was highly competent and laid out a plan for performing a mastectomy of the left breast, and explained that he would be looking at the lymph nodes also. I can only imagine what Cheryl was thinking, but I was close to despair. I have had too many close encounters with cancer in my life, having lost my mother and 3 aunts and a favorite cousin to breast cancer. Hope was trying to fly out the window, but I clung on with all my strength. “Dear God”, I prayed, “bless this sweet woman and give her the strength to withstand this ordeal.” And He did.

It was a completely reversed situation for me to sit in the waiting room instead of being wheeled into the surgical theatre. I had experienced four major surgeries in my life and was very familiar with the routine. Sitting in the surgical waiting room at Cone Hospital, I visited with a few family and friends and felt completely useless in supporting the one person whom I love most. It was in God’s hands and I trusted that He would control the process. And He did.  She had a very successful surgery, but they did discover the lymphoma had spread to her lymph nodes and the surgeon had removed several. I greeted her in recovery and it warmed my heart to see her beautiful smile when she saw me. It was the beginning of a long, long journey.

Three years after she discovered the initial lump and despite every imaginable treatment, it was still threatening her life.  She first was administered radiation therapy in an attempt to isolate the receptors in her chest. After the initial surgery, she went for reconstructive surgery and it failed to heal back properly. She embarked on a series of chemo-therapy drug treatments during the past three years that took her to the threshold of life. It stole her dignity and drained every bit of her energy as she stoically embraced each round of new therapy.

The metastatic cancer spread to her lungs and brain in spite of every treatment that was applied. Further surgery performed a mastectomy on the remaining breast and laser radiology was directed to the affected areas in her brain. Her hair fell out on at least two occasions during chemo-therapy and I could see how that devastated her. For she always had long dense auburn hair that was her crowning glory. Physically and mentally, all of these things would have brought a weaker person to the point of giving up. But not Cheryl, she always spoke to her doctors with great hope and great expectations for the future. She never ever gave up hope that she could, and would, survive her ordeal in the end.  We bought her a wig and breast prosthetics and she bravely faced a world of total uncertainty. She trusted God to care for her.

 

In our 24 years of marriage prior to the onset of her ordeal, we had become an inseparable team. We thought alike, we acted alike, we liked the same programs on TV, we prayed together, we deeply cared for one another as only two folks who are immersed in love with one another. Our main goal in life was to please each other. To watch her suffer has been devasting to me, I would have gladly traded places with her at any stage of the journey.

During her infusions, I would sit with her and we would talk about our grandkids and when we would plan on visiting them. Those grandkids were an important part in what gave her the will to live for.

(There has been a 3 year gap between the last paragraph and the next. I started this in April of 2020 when she was still fighting. I have just recovered the will to finish it)

But unfortunately, it takes more than the will to live, a reason to live and the unfailing love of those who love you and would willingly trade places with you , to survive the ravages of the unrelenting cancers that plague our human bodies. She defied the inevitable for 39 months, she endured every surgical procedure, every type of chemo-therapy available to her and every imaginable radiotherapy that was recommended . The culmination of all these treatments was the greatest indignity she suffered, her very femininity was attacked from every aspect, all the things that made her feminine were lost in the process. I cannot imagine her utter sense of helplessness as she watched it all slip away.

She had courage and hope every step of the excruciatingly painful journey. She never gave up hope and in the face of unconquerable odds she showed valor that I could only imagine. We shared the hope for a miraculous cure and hope for a loving heavenly father to re-unite us in His heavenly home. The only other lady whom I witnessed with like fortitude was my mother who also lost a muti-year battle with cancer. The two women I have loved most in this life were the most courageous and the first two I want to meet in Heaven.