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First of all, I felt lonely for companionship and after raising a family, I needed someone to share my home and life. I met a lady in
It occurred to me that God might be waiting for me to turn things over to Him; so I did. I remember praying one evening for a couple of hours, pouring out my heart to God; asking Him to show me His will and His way in my life. I was lonely and I truly sought a companion to share my life. I prayed, “Lord, please give me peace in my heart, and help me find the person that you want me to find”. I prayed through and knew without a doubt that He would lead me to the right lady, in His own time.
I changed churches and started attending a singles class that included folks who had never been married and those like me that were ‘single again’. I didn’t try to pursue anyone, I became an active member, attended all the social functions, went with the group to eat together after services and we all congregated during the church services. Even though I didn’t find anyone special, I developed a lot of new friendships and found myself enjoying life again. But I still longed for that soul mate that would complete my life.
Things became a little awkward when Amy, my twenty year old daughter, moved in with me and started attending my singles class at church. I thought, “How am I ever going to get on with my life under such conditions?” but I wasn’t giving God the credit He deserves. He eventually used Amy to help me find the woman He had put in my path. During a singles class meeting I leaned over and whispered to Amy, “Now which one of these ladies do I need to get to know a little better”. She surveyed the room and whispered back to me,”How about that tall redhead back there?” Now I’ll have to admit that I had considered that possibility myself, for she was very attractive. She was new to the class and I had been in a small study group with her where I found her to be smart and well spoken. I thought she might have some interest in me because she made a point to stop me between bible class and church service. She reached out and grabbed my arm as she told me that she was glad I had joined the class and welcomed me to the class. She assured me later that the gesture was purely plutonic and she would have done the same for any new member. Either way, I’m glad she did.
After Amy’s confirmation that I might be on the right track, I discovered that the beautiful redhead sat on the opposite side of the sanctuary with a cute bespectacled blond daughter. I asked around, got her phone number and called her to see if she had any interest in me. She said that she wouldn’t object to sitting next to me for the evening service, so I slipped in late and quietly listened to the evening sermon. She took my actions as evasive and thought that I was a bit rude for not talking to her during the service. She was agreeable to going out for coffee after the service and we had a warm and pleasant conversation over several cups of coffee and an excellent piece of pie. With all the normal pleasantries out of the way, we began to date and engage in learning more about each other in our talks over the phone. Now she didn’t know that her name was the same as my ex-wife so I asked her, “Now how do you spell your name, with a ‘C’ or an ‘S’. Cheryl said, “with a ‘C”, so I then asked, “and what is your middle name?” She replied, “Lee” which I did not immediately reveal to her was the same as my ex-wife. After hanging up I assessed that if we were to eventually marry, she would have the exact name as my ex-wife, Sheryl Lee Warbritton. The irony wasn’t lost on either of us when I finally told her. When I asked her how old she was, she must have thought it inappropriate, but I was determined that I was not going to get serious with a younger woman when I was forty-nine years old. When she said she was forty-two, she must have been surprised when I breathed a sigh of relief. Her daughter was thirteen and she wanted to know that I would be a good father, so she grilled me thoroughly on my parental qualities. The more that we talked, the more we wanted to learn about each other.
I took her to a restaurant and she seemed to talk to everyone but me. I thought, “This is never going to work” and wondered why she even went with me. She apparently was having doubts about me and in a few days, she said she really thought we should just be friends. With no plans on keeping that commitment, I said, “No problem, we’ll just be friends”. On the very next date, I kissed her and told her that I was just being friendly and meant nothing by it. Our friendship deepened over the next few months and I knew that this was the one that God had put in my life and she just needed more time. More accurately, her Mom needed more time, for she correctly cautioned Cheryl to be certain about the man who would become a parent to her granddaughter, Angela. We continued dating and it never became less awkward; when you’re close to fifty, things just aren’t the same as when you were a teenager. One night after going to a movie, we parked a couple of blocks from her Mom’s home, because I wanted a goodnight kiss. A couple of minutes later, a policeman pulled up to the car, put his flashlight in my face, and asked for my ID. Sheepishly, I evidenced my age and explained that she lived just down the street. To our joint embarrassment, he said with a chuckle, “You kids need to find somewhere else to do your parking; the lady inside called us to check you out.” Needless to say, we took his advice.
Cheryl finally admitted that we were beyond the ‘friend’ stage but she wanted to learn more of my character and past. When my cousins came to visit from
I planned on asking Cheryl soon after, in the hope that her gracious acceptance would end our uncomfortable dating scenario. We went to a jewelry store and Cheryl showed me the style of ring she wanted. I returned in a couple of weeks and chose the one she liked best. Anxious to move on with our lives, I invited her to an upscale restaurant and surprised her by formally asking her to marry. Cheryl was easy to talk with and we had just become very good friends as well as being very much in love with each other. We started making plans for a June wedding and now the awkward dating scene was officially over. Her Mom finally gave her blessing and we decided to have the ceremony in her back yard. Now Cheryl is laid back and I’m the planner, so I developed a thorough program that included our whole family.
Cheryl’s brother, John who is a chaplain, would come in from
I sincerely hope that you will be as blessed as we were if you ever have to face the process of dating again. My second-time-around has been my sweetheart and best friend for over twenty years now and we look forward to each new year as if it were our first one. Don’t forget that only God can bring you true peace in your heart and try as you might, you will never achieve it on your own. John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”
Happy Couple
The whole Bunch
