Twenty Years Ago

If you think dating was awkward the first time you tried it, you can’t imagine how uncomfortable it can be on the second time around. If you are fortunate enough to be in a first marriage that has survived all your trials and tribulations, then hang on to your spouse and count your blessings. Some embarrassing things happened when I found myself single again after many years of marriage and in my late forties. You don’t plan on putting yourself in this position, it just happens.
  First of all, I felt lonely for companionship and after raising a family, I needed someone to share my home and life. I met a lady in New Jersey who taught a class I attended for my job. We went to dinner a couple of nights during the week of class and though we were physically attracted, I soon realized that we were poles apart in our philosophy of life. I didn’t call her when I returned home and she became very angry, so I never dated her again. Linda, the lady who cut my hair, decided I was a good match for a client of hers whom I had never seen and she gave me her phone number. I called and set up a rendezvous at a nice restaurant; she told me what she would be wearing and I arrived early to wait for her. Linda forgot to tell me that she would be wearing a hair-do straight from Bozo the clown’s wardrobe. She was a nice person, but I was not attracted to her at all; I didn’t lie when I said I would be out of town for the next week, but I did misrepresent my intentions when I told her that I would probably call her when I came back home. I didn’t call her and I told Linda that she just wasn’t my type. Her hair-cutting partner at the shop said he knew I wouldn’t like her, but he bet that I would like another client of theirs. I said, “No more blind dates”, so Linda arranged a “chance meeting” at the shop. I arrived early for my appointment and the new prospect passed me on her way out of the shop. We had a couple of dates and when I brought candy to her on Valentines Day, she suddenly decided I was getting too serious and said she didn’t want to see me anymore. Frustrated, and feeling unlucky, I decided that I was looking for companionship in the wrong places.
  It occurred to me that God might be waiting for me to turn things over to Him; so I did. I remember praying one evening for a couple of hours, pouring out my heart to God; asking Him to show me His will and His way in my life. I was lonely and I truly sought a companion to share my life. I prayed, “Lord, please give me peace in my heart, and help me find the person that you want me to find”. I prayed through and knew without a doubt that He would lead me to the right lady, in His own time.
   I changed churches and started attending a singles class that included folks who had never been married and those like me that were ‘single again’. I didn’t try to pursue anyone, I became an active member, attended all the social functions, went with the group to eat together after services and we all congregated during the church services.  Even though I didn’t find anyone special, I developed a lot of new friendships and found myself enjoying life again. But I still longed for that soul mate that would complete my life.
  Things became a little awkward when Amy, my twenty year old daughter, moved in with me and started attending my singles class at church. I thought, “How am I ever going to get on with my life under such conditions?” but I wasn’t giving God the credit He deserves. He eventually used Amy to help me find the woman He had put in my path. During a singles class meeting I leaned over and whispered to Amy, “Now which one of these ladies do I need to get to know a little better”. She surveyed the room and whispered back to me,”How about that tall redhead back there?” Now I’ll have to admit that I had considered that possibility myself, for she was very attractive. She was new to the class and I had been in a small study group with her where I found her to be smart and well spoken. I thought she might have some interest in me because she made a point to stop me between bible class and church service. She reached out and grabbed my arm as she told me that she was glad I had joined the class and welcomed me to the class. She assured me later that the gesture was purely plutonic and she would have done the same for any new member. Either way, I’m glad she did.
   After Amy’s confirmation that I might be on the right track, I discovered that the beautiful redhead sat on the opposite side of the sanctuary with a cute bespectacled blond daughter. I asked around, got her phone number and called her to see if she had any interest in me. She said that she wouldn’t object to sitting next to me for the evening service, so I slipped in late and quietly listened to the evening sermon. She took my actions as evasive and thought that I was a bit rude for not talking to her during the service. She was agreeable to going out for coffee after the service and we had a warm and pleasant conversation over several cups of coffee and an excellent piece of pie. With all the normal pleasantries out of the way, we began to date and engage in learning more about each other in our talks over the phone. Now she didn’t know that her name was the same as my ex-wife so I asked her, “Now how do you spell your name, with a ‘C’ or an ‘S’. Cheryl said, “with a ‘C”, so I then asked, “and what is your middle name?” She replied, “Lee” which I did not immediately reveal to her was the same as my ex-wife. After hanging up I assessed that if we were to eventually marry, she would have the exact name as my ex-wife, Sheryl Lee Warbritton. The irony wasn’t lost on either of us when I finally told her. When I asked her how old she was, she must have thought it inappropriate, but I was determined that I was not going to get serious with a younger woman when I was forty-nine years old. When she said she was forty-two, she must have been surprised when I breathed a sigh of relief. Her daughter was thirteen and she wanted to know that I would be a good father, so she grilled me thoroughly on my parental qualities. The more that we talked, the more we wanted to learn about each other.
  I took her to a restaurant and she seemed to talk to everyone but me. I thought, “This is never going to work” and wondered why she even went with me. She apparently was having doubts about me and in a few days, she said she really thought we should just be friends. With no plans on keeping that commitment, I said, “No problem, we’ll just be friends”. On the very next date, I kissed her and told her that I was just being friendly and meant nothing by it. Our friendship deepened over the next few months and I knew that this was the one that God had put in my life and she just needed more time. More accurately, her Mom needed more time, for she correctly cautioned Cheryl to be certain about the man who would become a parent to her granddaughter, Angela. We continued dating and it never became less awkward; when you’re close to fifty, things just aren’t the same as when you were a teenager. One night after going to a movie, we parked a couple of blocks from her Mom’s home, because I wanted a goodnight kiss. A couple of minutes later, a policeman pulled up to the car, put his flashlight in my face, and asked for my ID. Sheepishly, I evidenced my age and explained that she lived just down the street. To our joint embarrassment, he said with a chuckle, “You kids need to find somewhere else to do your parking; the lady inside called us to check you out.” Needless to say, we took his advice.
  Cheryl finally admitted that we were beyond the ‘friend’ stage but she wanted to learn more of my character and past. When my cousins came to visit from Georgia and she saw the closeness we shared as family, she had to admit that we should consider a more permanent arrangement (that would at least keep us off the streets at night). Her family is close and has large family gatherings around the holidays. At the family Christmas party, her step-brother Harold dressed in a Santa costume and everyone sat in his lap to tell him what they wanted. When Amy sat in his lap, she looked around the room and said, “All I want for Christmas is for Daddy and Cheryl to get married”. Cheryl thought I put her up to it, but I didn’t; Amy was just following God’s timetable and announcing to the rest of the family what Cheryl and I already knew.
   I planned on asking Cheryl soon after, in the hope that her gracious acceptance would end our uncomfortable dating scenario. We went to a jewelry store and Cheryl showed me the style of ring she wanted. I returned in a couple of weeks and chose the one she liked best. Anxious to move on with our lives, I invited her to an upscale restaurant and surprised her by formally asking her to marry. Cheryl was easy to talk with and we had just become very good friends as well as being very much in love with each other. We started making plans for a June wedding and now the awkward dating scene was officially over. Her Mom finally gave her blessing and we decided to have the ceremony in her back yard. Now Cheryl is laid back and I’m the planner, so I developed a thorough program that included our whole family.
  Cheryl’s brother, John who is a chaplain, would come in from Texas to perform the ceremony and all five of our children would participate in the ceremony. My two sons and two daughters, along with her daughter, would all sing and my two small grandchildren would be the ring bearer and flower girl. We recorded music that was special to us and we had good friends play it at the appropriate intervals over a rented PA system. It rained in the early morning, but cleared off for the late afternoon ceremony and everything went off without a hitch. My brothers and their families attended as well as Cheryl’s extended local family and many close friends. We had a wonderful wedding and invited everyone to dinner and dancing in the backyard after the festivities. It was not a party to get drunk, it was a time for family to celebrate. It was a joyous occasion for two second-time-around hopefuls to begin anew and share their joy. We played music from the Mills Brothers to current top hits and everyone danced away their cares. Cheryl and I slipped out and headed to the airport for our honeymoon flight to Sanibel Island off the Florida coast. We rented a red convertible and spent several days relaxing on the sunny beaches, shopping at the beach specialty shops and dining in the quaint restaurants that dot the island. No more dating- Hallelulah!
  I sincerely hope that you will be as blessed as we were if you ever have to face the process of dating again. My second-time-around has been my sweetheart and best friend for over twenty years now and we look forward to each new year as if it were our first one.  Don’t forget that only God can bring you true peace in your heart and try as you might, you will never achieve it on your own. John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

 

                                                       Happy Couple 


 

                      The whole Bunch            

                                  

 

 Written by David Warbritton for the Warbritton Family

The Passing of the Pine Tree

As I stood by the window and looked out on the frozen world that had grown more frigid with the passing hours, I wondered which would be the next limb to break from the weight of the slowly accumulating ice. A half dozen limbs had already crashed down on the deck from the soft and willowy river birch. It’s top limbs are easy targets during winter storms and are generally the first to succumb to the added weight of the ice and snow. This was the third major winter storm of the season and it was the first week of March. It has surely been a long winter.

 

   As I watched from the second story window I noticed that the long needle pine in the back yard had a definite lean. It had always been a vigorous and healthy tree, growing to a present height of forty feet in only fifteen years. Noting the ever increasing angle, I thought to myself, “If that keeps up, that pine will surely fall”.

   As if on cue, in super slow motion and noiselessly, like a silent movie in stark black and white, the tree laid down gently on the nearby chain link fence and jammed several limbs deep into the frozen ground. Effortlessly the giant uprooted from the ice accumulation on the upper boughs and permanently sealed its death in silent majesty. Part of the top limbs fell into the neighbor’s driveway and I immediately knew I had to clear it for his car to be able to get out.

 

   I waited for a few hours for the ice storm to pass and for the temperature to rise a bit. I only had a bow saw and some long handled shrub snips, but after about an hour, Cheryl and I had cleared his driveway and decided that the remaining limbs were too large for the bow saw and we could wait for the ice to thaw.

   Things got busy at work the next week and I decided that it could wait a little longer. Cheryl and I did go out and clear some more limbs off the neighbor’s side and with the aid of my eight-foot step ladder, I sawed off as many limbs as I could reach. We dragged them all up to the curb and piled them up for the city to pick up. Due to the massive ice storm, the city had relaxed the rules and allowed for everyone to just dump their broken limbs and trees next to the curb without being bundled.

   Without a chainsaw, I knew that I could never get the tree trunk cut up. It had been a couple of weeks and I began searching for a chainsaw. Home Depot and Lowes were sold out, also Walmart and Sears as I next learned. I found one eight inch electric chain saw, but other than that, every chainsaw in the county was already sold. As you drove the streets of the city, almost every yard had piles of broken limbs and trees lining their yards. I was about to give up when a friend of mine offered to come over with his friend and help me finish the job. I told him that I was still looking for a chainsaw, but I would call him if I needed him.

   Two more weeks passed and I was very busy or the weather was bad, then my friend called again and offered to help on the following weekend.  The city came by the next morning and with a lift truck picked up all the limbs that were curbside. Cheryl checked on line and determined that they would be back within the next couple of weeks so I invited my friends over to help.

   Najo was a master with the saw; he wielded the sixteen-inch Husqvarna like a Jedi with a light sabre. Within an hour the tree had been efficiently cut into three foot sections and he was cutting the limbs down to manageable size. Nebo and I stayed busy hauling the limbs and trunk pieces to the curb. In an hour and a half, the work was finished and the curb had been refilled. Without my friends help, I would still be hauling limbs and I would probably have injured myself in the process. I managed to scratch my right arm twice with sticky pine limbs and I noticed that neither of my friends had a mark on them.

   I offered to pay them for their help but they refused. We gave them some of Cheryl’s southern iced tea and she gave them a piece of freshly baked sour cream pound cake, just out of the oven. They were not born in America, they immigrated from Bosnia/Serbia and now they are American citizens. They are thankful to be here, to have the opportunity for a better life and they are willing to work for themselves or others. They have genuine hearts and they have a generous spirit to share with others. They were humble and they did a service for me that will always be appreciated.

   Life is like that, you roll along and don’t need anything from anyone, then circumstances beyond your control take over and you are suddenly in need of help. You don’t have the tools and you are too old to do it by yourself. You need a friend, who has a friend, who has the tools and they are much younger than you. They even want to help because they believe in helping others. Moments like these are rare in these times, but none-the–less refreshing.   

To be honest, I never liked that pine tree; I just hate to cut down a living tree. I let it grow and then God took it down, without a sound and ever so gently. I intend to plant a garden where it stood. It is one of the few spots in the backyard that has enough sunshine. I wonder if Najo has a garden tiller?  I bet they would like some fresh vegetables.

Mike's Progress Report

In mid-January, my brother Ted and I visited Mike in Glendale AZ. He was about to embark on a long journey, seeking a cure for his recently diagnosed esophageal cancer. That trip is not complete, but we have good news! The five weeks of daily radiation treatments and two weeks of chemo have produced better than expected (hoped for) results. In the words of his attending oncologist, "It is a 300% better result than we expected. It has reduced the tumor by 97%". There appear to be four spots left that will be treated with brachia-therapy within the next month. While we are thankful for these results, please continue to keep Mike in your thoughts and prayers.

   It is not over. He still has a few more treatments to go. It has not been an easy journey, he has suffered enormous discomfort with the body's reaction to the deluge of alien attacks on his body. He has endured extreme nausea, vomiting, dry-heaves and dangerously high fevers of close to 105 degrees. He has been admitted to the ICU 3 times since the treatments started and stayed for five days on his last visit. He is mentally fatigued, physically exhausted and generally "worn to a frazzle" as our mother used to say, but he is still fighting and hoping and praying.
   Mike's faith has been tested and tried as never before in his life. I can tell from our conversations that he is leaning more on his faith than ever. He is also leaning on a strong partner in life who has been there for him throughout the whole process. Cynthia has sacrificed and endured along with him while she has bolstered and encouraged him every step along the way. She is a blessing to him and she is "the rock" on which he leans. Their shared faith in God gives them both the courage and strength to endure and the audacity to hope that better days lay ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

"Philadelphia" AZ

Mike posted a blog last week about brotherly love and how much it meant to him for Ted and I to visit him. Touche' brother, it was your turn. How many times have we been to each others sides in the past several years. When I went to the hospital for major surgeries in North Carolina, who was there looking at me when I awoke? Mike and Ted of course. It's just what we do because we love and respect each other. We are family and we are bound by a lifetime of caring. So whether it is in North Carolina or Texas or Arizona, wherever we gather will be "Philadelphia". Love you brothers!

 

 Mike shows Ted how to dial on a non-flip phone

 

Farewells as Ted prepares to leave for the airport.



 

"Juan Valdez Miguel Warbrittonez" displays his first orange harvest at El Casa Grande.

 

El Casa Grande!

 

My "tourist look" pic

These things (Saguaro cactus) are twenty feet tall and those needles are 2" long

 

 

Ouch!

 



Family visit to California

   I can't think of anything more important in life than family. When I consider my own life, it was family that stuck together through the hard times, through the illnesses, through the misunderstandings, through every challenge that came our way. It was that sense of community of belonging that held the bare threads together when the obstacles were greatest. Whether my Mother's sickness or my own sickness, whatever issues faced us, we faced it as a family; as a group of folks who loved each other and supported each other, no matter what.

    It is still so.

   My brothers and I act like we love one another because we do. I hope that we have passed that down to our next generation in a way that transcends the trials and turbulence of past mistakes.

   As I look at my descendants, I see the same bond of love and caring in the faces of my children and their spouses and all of my grandchildren. On the rare occasions when I get to visit them, I feel the bonds of love that bind us together. I see the care that each has for the other and it really does my heart good to be a part of it. Life is precious and caring is the root source that sustains the family tree.

And that includes the new limbs that are grafted in and become a part of the family tree to produce new fruit.

   My family tree is now growing in North Carolina, Colorado, Florida and California. What a joy to go and be with most of them in California. I saw four of my children with their spouses, seven of my grandkids and I actually visited with my two brothers in Phoenix on the way out there. I love my family and I pray God's blessing on each and everyone of us, everyday.

 

The Coastal Clan

Little Joshua

 

Kodi, Josh and Dave

 

Poppy and sweet Maci

 

 Poppy and Joshua watching "Happy Feet"

 

Three brothers - Chase, Josh and Tyler

 

 Darren on the Ojai Trail

 

 

 Pop on the Ojai Trail

 

Joshua and Dave

 

The Valley Clan

 

Little "G" kisses a frog



 

 

Alex is attacked by a bear

 

 

Sitting in the big brown chair

 

 

Auntie "M" with Lil' "G"

 

Feeding the goats

 

Not my favorite thing to do                                                            Watch me rope that steer

Alex and Lil' G find a treehouse

 

 The sunshine sisters in the "Golden State"

 

Garrett and Amy at the "Walnut Orchard Villa"

The Innkeepers Dan and Vicky (Garrett's folks)

 

 

Back to the Coastal Clan

                                                                 Dave and Kodi's Townhome

"Come back balloon"                           (Herein this pic lies a hidden family joke.)



Fighting the Devil in Arizona

   My brother Mike has decided to name the cancer that has invaded his body, so that he can personally address it when he is condemning it. When my other brother Ted and I were with him in Glendale, AZ, during his first week of chemo and radiation, he named it "Beelzebub" which of course is symbolic of the devil, or a prince of hell. Since then he has added "The Beast" in front of "Beelzebub". The radiation equipment is like a "beast" and it takes one beast to kill another. It is a totally appropriate name for this disease which has attacked his body with stealth and surprise. The battlefield is greater than his physical body, it encompasses his entire being. The soul and spirit are waging an equally fierce conflict at the same time as the science of chemo and precision radiation are battling with the attack on his body.
   Just as my brother Mike has an army of doctors leading the physical clash with the science of medicine, he has an army of spiritual warriors engaging the enemy's attack on his spirit. Pray for Mike that God will sustain him through this struggle. Pray for God to guide the Doctors and pray that God will give Mike strength, courage, hope and peace. I believe "hope" is the key that will triumph over any adversity that we face. "Hope" that our Lord and Savior will be there right besides us, defeating our enemies. Destroying the cancer and punching out the old "Beast Beelzebub".
   Keep punching brother!